How to work on relationships
Relationships are everywhere. Humans are wired to connect, and the people you have around you will have a deep impact in your life. Friends, family, and intimate partners can push your buttons like no one else, and cause all sorts of emotions in you. It’s in these relationships that you learn the basics about who you are to the world, and what you can expect from others around you.
Whichever type of relationship you’re hoping to explore, I like to approach it in similar ways. To me, it’s all about asking the right questions: what do you feel, when you’re connecting? What are your automatic thoughts? What do you think it all means? Do you get fulfillment out of that relationship? What do you perceive? How does your history help understand what you’re experiencing today? Does this relationship feel safe enough for you to be vulnerable? How much of your authenticity are you sacrificing to maintain this relationship? Do your relationships make you feel nourished?
We can answer these questions in many ways. Some of my favourites have to do with expanding your awareness to include different aspects of your inner world. What do your thoughts, feelings, and body tell you about your relationships? We can use conversations, experiments, props, and explore our therapeutic relationship. To create change in these, we may re-organize your perception, offer alternative interpretations thanks to your adult brain, and find new meaning and new learnings.
In working to help you have a healthier relationship with yourself and your world, I will try to use myself, my training, and my experience to help you explore, understand, and change your relationships. We get to practice new ways of being in the world in session, which then you can take out into your life.
Like I described above, the best way to help you understand the relationships in your life is to look inwards. If we pay close attention to how you feel when you interact, what you imagine the other person is thinking or feeling; how that informs your own response to them, then we can better understand your reactions. Why you act and feel the way you do. Once we have that clarity, we can help you create new options and learn new ways to move in the world.
Intimate relationships are possibly one of the most important parts of your life. Maybe you’re noticing that you don’t feel as close to your partner as before, or that no matter how hard you’ve tried, you can’t move past the divides and misunderstandings that keep you apart. It could be your personality, your background, your history, or your culture, but something seems to be getting in the way of the kind of relationship you want. If you’re here, you probably crave a deeper connection with your partner. You want to give and receive the kind of support that makes your relationship feel stronger; the kind of openness and communication that makes you feel safe. Like you’re a true team.
I’d like to help you get there. At Seaglass Psychology, I want to help you find your strengths as a couple and how to work through whatever is getting in the way. We can work together to help you create a stronger relationship, one based on trust, openness, and communication. Over the course of our couples counselling sessions, I would like to help you learn to speak the same language, engage with each other in a way that makes you both feel you’re getting your needs met, and understand each other.
I have experience working with people who have experienced interpersonal trauma. I aim to make my work safer for folks of all backgrounds, gender identities, gender expression, and sexual orientation. I’m polyamory and kink affirming.