The importance of vulnerability
February 20, 2020 | Connection, Emotions, Society
Is there a feeling quite like vulnerability? It can open us raw and leave us tender, and it can be followed by some of the most powerful experiences of love or rejection. So, what is the importance of vulnerability? Why would we choose to be vulnerable when the stakes are so high? That’s such an…
Is telling the trauma story necessary?
February 10, 2020 | Awareness, Trauma
Over the past three and a half years, I’ve supported and learned from people who have experienced sexualized violence. Many of them went through that and other forms of violence in their lives. I’ve seen the way that being hurt by other humans harms people. I’ve had the honour of accompanying them as they healed…
Why do we have emotions?
January 26, 2020 | Awareness, Emotions
I love asking this question to my clients. Why do we have emotions? Despite the social demands telling us we should be rational (as if that were really possible, but that’s a topic for another post), the truth is we need emotions. They motivate us, they lead us into action, the tell us about our…
Daring to feel hope
January 19, 2020 | Emotions, General
What happens when you have hope for something in the future, but you’re afraid it might not happen? I’ve been paying attention to this lately. It’s like there is a constant argument going on between the part of me that wants to feel hope, and another that tells me, “No, don’t. What if it doesn’t…
Let us celebrate the Season
December 25, 2019 | General, Society, Universe
For thousands of years, the winter solstice was a time of feast and abundance; a season to celebrate the sun’s return to life. There was food, gift-giving, and gatherings. So much of it we can still see today, interwoven with so many cultures. As we approach the new gregorian year, in whichever way you celebrate…
Who are you? Figuring out who we are
December 02, 2019 | Awareness, Spirituality, Universe
Back in high school, a friend, thinking she was being very clever, asked me “Who are you?”. The idea was that, no matter what the answer, it was always wrong. “I’m Consuelo.” = I didn’t ask for your name. Who are you? “I’m a person.” = I didn’t ask what kind of being you are….
Speaking the languages of the self
November 26, 2019 | Awareness, Body, Emotions, Mind
I see us people as incredibly complex and social creatures. We have a degree of consciousness we don’t see in most other beings (of course, we’re not certain), and which has helped us expand our presence in this world to a great degree. Awareness has given us choice, among other benefits. I think that, along…
Using Love Languages for Self-Care and Self-Soothing
November 22, 2019 | Handouts, Self Care
Have you heard about Love Languages, as developed by Dr. Chapman? To be perfectly honest, I don’t know much about it. What I know, is that it centres around the idea that we all express love and receive love best according to different “languages”: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Affection, and…
The Window of Tolerance
November 11, 2019 | Anxiety, Awareness, General
My last two posts have been about anxiety and how we begin to work with it. In the latter, I mention that I think of self-regulation as hijacking what is happening to our brains to help us come back to a place of calmness. Add to this returning to curiosity, and capacity to manage what is…
How to chill: Grounding Skills
November 08, 2019 | Anxiety, Awareness, Body
In my previous post, I talked about anxiety. In there I said that, before we can change what causes anxiety, we need to tell our bodies that we’re safe enough now. This is what I call self-regulation or, as the title suggests, chilling. I heard once that anxiety is all about the future: what if?…